Ch-Ch-Changes…

It is said that the only things in life that are constant, a given, for sure are death, taxes and change.  Change is all around us; at the moment we get to bask in the glory of prismatic color all around as one season merges into another [forgive my West Coast life – our fall colors arrive much later than the rest of the world].  Our skin changes with the season, our eyesight changes with age; wine and cheese change for the better with time.  Our pant sizes change by the month for some of us;  styles change yearly; and if done right, life is a series of one change after another.

When my son was an infant, and learning to scooch, the kind of scooching that was more akin to a military move: elbows grabbing traction and full belly to the floor. The only difference being a floppy head that frequently came precariously close to smacking the floor. I worried that the hardwood floors in my house would prove problematic for both he and I; his forehead, my backside.  I ordered an area rug to soften the blow and create some padding, for both of us. There was a snafu with the order and it took nearly a month for the rug to arrive in the warehouse, and then I had to arrange  to pick it up with an infant. When I finally got to the store, I looked at the rug and realized that I didn’t like it; in fact, I hated it.  But as luck would have it, there were no returns on custom orders so I had no choice and I brought it home, rolled it out, and appreciated it simply for it’s function, despite what it lacked in form.

No sooner had I plopped the kiddo down on the carpet, with that contented sigh of solving a dilemma, did I realize that the week prior he had fully mastered scooching and was now in full-crawling mode. He had no intention of staying within the bounds of the rug’s edge, he had serious exploring to do. The area rug was obsolete before I even rolled it out; my son had changed. He had grown, outgrown the rug and was ready to move on. Just as he should.  I, however, was stuck with the ugliest rug for a few years until enough wear and tear was underfoot to justify a change in my home decor.

“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”

-Andy Warhol

Change, if done well, and for the right reasons, does not scare me.  The tasks necessary to usher in whatever is new, or just different, are always laced with some element of adventure along with the knowledge that the change is part of  the larger picture and the knowing that this turn will pave the way for, and lead to more change at some unexpected point in time. I like seeing what’s next around the corner, figuring things out as I go.

Change, if done poorly and for the wrong reasons just annoys me; knowing that the unnecessary work required to accommodate the transition will be tiresome, drama will ensue, and will likely only serve to fix a temporary issue, that is possibly (probably) not even the real issue to begin with.

Change is on my immediate horizon; change that I have called forth, beckoned. Change that I need. I feel a bit like my infant son, pushing past the bounds of the rug’s edge. It is change for the right reasons, and will unquestionably bring work, surely some drama and it will be up to me to do it well, and with grace if possible, to ensure a positive outcome that simply lays a new foundation for what is to come.  Not to mention, the changes that I am certain will appear, at the presently uncertain, but certainly inevitable unforeseen corners of my life.

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

– Buckminster Fuller

I realize that not everyone likes change, embraces it’s adventure or seeks it out. It’s not always pretty, definitely not always easy, and rocks the boat.   What is your relationship to change? Do love it? Or avoid it at all costs, even when the option of remaining the same seems equally impossible?

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

– Charles Darwin

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21 thoughts on “Ch-Ch-Changes…

  1. Bonnie- what a timely post. I read it after our Thanksgiving celebration, looking at all the little kids running around being chased my their older cousins (my kids) and bittersweetly remembering when my kids were the “little kids” and their cousins were chasing them. Realizing that in a couple of short years, my husband and I will be empty-nesters and entering a new season of life. Will I be ready for the change? I hope so, but I also know transitions aren’t easy. However, every season brings new opportunities. Thanks for posting!

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  2. Bonnie,

    To be open and ready in each moment, to embrace what comes, to throw myself into each moment with all my heart, existing fully and presently in each moment- these are now my aspirations. This is how I wish to exist.

    I sense your own openness to the change that is surely coming. Your writing projects an energy and strength. An energy that the reader can feel and draw into their own experience.

    I live a blessed life. This day, one of my many blessings is to experience your writing and thought- and to draw a little extra energy from these pages.

    Thank you.

    Tom

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    • Tom

      To find and read your comment late on Thanksgiving evening is something for which I am grateful.

      I really appreciate your thoughts on living open and being ready to embrace what comes, as a way of life is encouraging, and resonates.

      For you to find and draw some energy here, from the words on these pages, gives me strength and encouragement.

      Thank you, for being here,
      B

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  3. Charles Darwin is SO right – the most successful species embrace change. As for me? I love change (even to the point of rearranging the house every few months) 😀

    Great post and best of luck with your new adventure 😉

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    • Dianne, I somehow knew this about you…if my home were larger and could handle my need to switch things up, I would be rearranging my furniture every now and then too! Thanks for the kind words and good thoughts! 🙂

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  4. GREAT post, Bonnie! I don’t know what specific changes are in the wind for you, but you’re bright, kind, intelligent, and thoughtful, so though there may be some hiccups along the way, I’m bettin’ you’re going to move through this next phase in grand style. 🙂 As Ben Franklin once said, “When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” You go girl!! 🙂 xo, l

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  5. I’m all about encouraging other people to embrace change – get that haircut, repaint your apartment, why not?!? You can always change it back! But encouraging myself to do the same thing … ack!!! Now that’s a little tougher. But you, my friend, make it sound like a not-so-scary thing with your wise words (as usual!) Here’s hoping the change that’s on your horizon goes well for you! Keep us posted, xo.

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    • Thanks Amb! It is easier to be in the cheering squad, rooting on for others to change, while we remain in cozy, safe, known waters. Some changes can’t be changed back, and there has to be a trust that while we can’t go back, what lies ahead is full of promise, or healing, or adventure, or just brings the absence of that which we needed change from in the first place, creating perhaps a new slate. I think when that is the proposition, it outweighs the scary-factor. That’s what I am counting on! xox

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  6. What a beautifully stated post, my dear. “When people are ready to, they change…..you can’t stop them….” Such a true statement. And so this is what pops into my head for the moment, “You is kind, You is smart, You is important.” Love you friend ♥

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    • Yvonne, thank you, so much. I just stopped by your corner and left you a comment, you are so kind, and yes, sweet! Change is all around, whether we have invited it, resist it, try to hide from it, it’s there. It’s up to us to figure out how to handle it. If you are in transition of some kind, know that I will keep you in my thoughts. xo

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  7. You are smart, self-aware, loving and loved. Your new chapter will be full – joy, drama, comedy, open doors and closed louvers. And it will be thrilling and scary and tearful and manic and elated and calm. It’s time Bon and you are doing more than scooching across the floor or crawling outside the realm of an area rug. You are walking purposefully (dare I say with a little bit of a wiggle becoming one who works out) and off to a new adventure. I’m so glad to be along for the ride…love, m

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    • I am SO glad you are along for this ride Mims, I just hope you have your seat-belt on, as I imagine some turbulence up ahead! {can I wear a parachute?! ) But, I’ve got a great flight crew who I know are there for me in a NY minute, with you in prime position. I better prepare some on-board snacks and drinks! You have summarized it well…and I know that all those things will be just as you say, and all part of walking purposefully towards a whole new chapter… xoxo me

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