Ambiguity is no fun. Until it’s funny.

Ambiguity & Idiosyncrasies

For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English…

witty

…Enjoy a little wordy nerdy witty wordplay!

  • ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA…… FLOOR.
  • ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
  • IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
  • I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
  • WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
  • IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
  • WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
  • WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
  • IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
  • WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
  • WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
  • IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
  • CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
  • IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
  • WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
  • HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
  • WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
  • ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
  • DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? (This one took me a minute)
  • HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
  • IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
  • IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
  • IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
  • WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD ‘LISP’ TO HAVE ‘S’ IN IT?
  • WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS”?
  • WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
  • WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
  • IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
  • CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
  • WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, ‘GUIDE DOGS ONLY’, THE DOGS CAN’T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?

Which one is your favorite?  🙂

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56 thoughts on “Ambiguity is no fun. Until it’s funny.

    • That one made me laugh too! So glad you enjoyed these. Did you end up sharing with the grandkids and did they laugh? Happy new year!

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  1. These were all great, and they started strong and finished strong as well. The first few made me smile, and then the bookstore one really made me laugh. Thanks for the smile …

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    • I’m so glad that you enjoyed them! I still laugh when I go back to them! The bookstore one cracked me up too…interesting to see what everyone responds to!

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  2. hahaha…they are all great. maybe i’m in a silly (man kind of) mood, but the hemorrhoid/assteroid dilemma tickles the crap (yes, intended) outta me! you is funny.
    😆

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love these – and they are definitely reminiscent of Steven Wright (who has a couple of space on my iPod)…’civil war’ – I’ve wondered about that.. xoxo

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  4. are they all Steven Wright? They’re fantastic–all of them. Tequila cracks me up. Especially love the ones that make me think a second about why they’re funny, but impossible to pick a favorite. Like justme792’s joke 🙂

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    • They might be, I didn’t source them when I found them, just knew I had to share! I love ’em all! And yes, the tequila one, I kinda knew you’d love that one..had you at tequila, right?! I agree, the mermaid joke from justme792 is a great addition. Glad you got a kick out these and even before the *ahem* evening beverages began?? 😀

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  5. Teeheehee! Word nerd jokes on a Saturday night – I’m so happy right now! I like the one about the pasta and the antipasto, of course! 🙂

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    • Hi Amb! I know…right? Word nerd jokes just can’t be passed up! I love them all, the rhetorical question one and the synonym one are extra wordy nerdy funny to me! Glad to add to your evening’s entertainment tonight!! Total win! xo

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  6. They all made me laugh so much. The one about the little mermaid made my friend think about another one:

    Why does the little mermaid wear seashells?
    — Because the a-shells and b-shells were too small

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so glad you got a laugh out of these, they cracked me up! I love the joke about the mermaid and seashells! so funny and thank you for sharing! 🙂

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