I have shared before that when I started this blog, I really didn’t know why I was, other than I thought I was supposed to, to support another creative endeavor. I started with such uncertainty and trepidation. It took me a long time to really feel at home here, but something in me said to keep going, even when I wondered, “What’s the Point” ?
What’s ironic (and irony is never lost on me…) is that I have had to put that other endeavor on the shelf, indefinitely for now, perhaps permanently, but yet this blog remains and has come to be something central to who I am. It has allowed me to become more honest with myself. This honesty breeds direction, understanding, confidence and contentment, within myself.
I trust myself more.
I have learned to pay attention and attune myself to the quiet subtle moments that are rich with insight and import.
Stories once long forgotten are sometimes my teacher in these moments.
I can now sense the shift that occurs within me when the writing needs to happen, and how much I miss it when too much time has gone by.
I would have never guessed that this blog would persist, and that the other project, the original activity, would recede. If you had asked me then, I would have for sure predicted the inverse relationship between the two. I have written about the stunningly rich community we have here, how blogging really takes place in the comments and this amazing opportunity to develop and share a voice.
We have all talked about how these elements have impacted us as people, as writers, as friends – in ways we could never have predicted and likely would have never even believed if someone had tried to tell us. To be seen, to be understood, to be accepted through this, is a gift of epic proportion in my estimation.
The days I am kept away from blog-land – reading and/or writing – are not preferable in my opinion. When I am here, when I log-in to Word Press, I feel as if as if I have walked into a room full of friends – the virtual community is real. It’s the online Cheers, where everybody knows my name. And so much more.
The power of two. So, its somewhat confounding to me to think of where this all began and realize that time has snuck up on me; and sit back and appreciate that over two years have gone by. Over 200 posts I have written. How is it possible that I have had over 200 things to talk about? Two road trips have been taken with you along for the miles. I have met two of you in person and wow the looks I get when I share that. And I know that two is not the end of that list!l
My life has changed, my kid has grown. This blog has changed me, in ways I could not have foreseen, but were necessary. I have grown. There has been a Freshly Pressed in the mix but to be honest, the honor is far greater when one of you is moved enough to share something of mine in your own space. That we know each other’s lives and stories because we dare to share them here, is moving to me, and something I hold closely. I love how we have a sense of the essence of each other even though we have never met. We get each other’s humor; my days feel much more complete when I see a response to one of my comments and the reply simply says: “laughing”. Somehow a connection has occurred in that moment.
This feels like a second home in many respects.
So, I am sticking around, it is just way too much fun here!
But, I now have a much better idea of what the point is. What the point is for me. When I started, I chose the name PaperKeeper because this blog was meant to play second fiddle to that other endeavor. As time has passed, I have a better understanding of what I want to do here, why I am here. That it is really about this endeavor.
I am ready to make some changes, and here’s how that is going to do down. We are going to start first with:
A new look – it’s time to spruce things up around here. Times have changed, so we have to update our wardrobe and hair style. In the next few weeks, or maybe days, you will notice things looking a little different. Everything on the inside will stay the same! I have some ideas for new types of posts, but nothing radical. It will feel just like it does right now.
And then, once that step is taken, the next phase will be that this blog is getting a new name! I have been thinking for a long time of what I want this blog to be called. It needs to reflect why I am here, not why I thought I was supposed to be here. It’s probably been over a year and I was waiting until it just came to me. I am a ‘I will know it when I know it‘ kind of person, and I percolate in the meantime. The best part is that a great friend of mine helped me see what was already right in front of me. The new name will be revealed soon, but I will give you a hint, I have used the phrase around here already! If you think you know, no spoilers!
And, then the last step will be a new address. The www will change. No more paperkeeper.wordpress.com. It will be http://www.somethingsomething.com! WP assures me that everything will be seamless, but course, like with any move, it’s making me a bit anxious. I want you all to come with me, of course, so when I get ready to load the truck, I will tell you ahead of time what my new address will be. If anyone has gone through this, please let me know if you have any good tips/tricks you learned in the process.
It’s going to feel a little like being in WITSEC at first; new look, new name, and a new address, but the important difference is I won’t be in hiding, or without all of my friends! One step at a time, but change is exciting, its keeps things fresh and new. It seems impossible to convey my gratitude to all of you for making this everything that it is.
Amazing. Remarkable. Safe. Challenging. Fun. Home.