Wait. Just stand there for a sec.

He walked to the table for breakfast this morning.

He looked different.

He looked different than he did just nine hours ago when I badgered him about getting his nighttime reading done.

And when I tucked him in for the night.

He looked older.

I said to him.

Wait, stand there. Just stand there for a sec.

You look different this morning.

I looked at him.

I surveyed his face, his every hair and the space he occupied in the room.

I saw the baby I once held.

I saw the small boy who used to hold my hand and call me mama.

I saw the teenager he almost is.

I said to him.

Sometimes I miss my little little boy.

But mostly, I just really like who you are right now.

And.

And I am curious about who you are becoming.

He looked at me.

With eyes that almost rolled. Almost.

He said to me.

Ok mom.

3july

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18 thoughts on “Wait. Just stand there for a sec.

  1. That’s an awesome moment, Bonnie! Thanks for sharing. Your reaction to seeing him walk in the room happens here, too. Sometimes I just stare at my girls and follow it up with some emotional comment about how lovely they are and amazing, too, and I’m just so honored to have them as daughters. And yes, eye rolls follow. Hoping it makes up for the times I’m on their case about picking things up around the house. But the kiddos are amazing, yep.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Liz! good to hang with you here. It’s something to see…literally watching them grow! I can take the eye rolls..bring it! 🙂 cheers my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

      • and like you said, watching the potential slowly unfurl. Each day they’re a little closer to getting to wherever they’re going to go. Gives me goosebumps! (Awwww mom…)

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes…I grow a bit frustrated when the assumption is that I wish for my kiddo to remain young, or go back…and while certainly I do miss certain moments and have such fond memories of every stage but I don’t lament the past, rather I think the present is cool and the ‘what’s to come’ so intriguing..i love watching the growing up! Yes…a little closer to wherever they are going…yes!

          Liked by 1 person

    • Oh they most certainly do! I love though, being able to not want to stop time, but being able to see him as he is and be loaded with curiosity about what’s to come for him and who he’s becoming! xo

      Liked by 1 person

    • It is miraculous, and messy and agonizing and sometimes beyond articulation to have such moments and as a late bloomer in the game of motherhood, I have absolute appreciation for your thoughts on this… xoxoox

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I LOVE this…and honey, I can soooo relate! I think we all can (or will). It’s an exciting, bittersweet time. You have so much ahead of you…and just a guess…but I’m wagering you and Ben will be in the 85th percentile (keeping us rooted in infant speak for a moment) when it comes to Mom/Son moments of Good vs. Evil. 🙂 15% of teen angst where Mom is obnoxious and just ‘doesn’t get it!” is definitely doable. Bon Chance BonBon….xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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