Ambiguity is no fun. Until it’s funny.

Ambiguity & Idiosyncrasies

For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English…

…Enjoy a little wordy nerdy witty wordplay!

• ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA…… FLOOR.
• ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
• IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
• I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
• WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
• IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
• WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
• WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
• IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
• WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
• WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
• IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
• CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
• IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
• WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
• HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
• WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
• ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
• DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? (This one took me a minute)
• HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
• IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
• IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
• IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
• WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD ‘LISP’ TO HAVE ‘S’ IN IT?
• WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS”?
• WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
• WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
• IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
• CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
• WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, ‘GUIDE DOGS ONLY’, THE DOGS CAN’T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?

Which one is your favorite?  🙂